Welp…cue kind of smile that leaves you with wrinkles and alllllll the waterworks, my Lolo girl is three (!!!) years old and I can officially say the “don’t blink” advice and “days are long, years are short” sentiments are in fact true. It feels like just yesterday we were blowing up the birthing pool in our living room and tag-teaming late night diaper changes, but three years have somehow passed since I became a mama and it’s safe to say Sloan and I have been changing & learning & growing together this whole time.
I’m starting to realize that no stage of motherhood is forever, and that’s both a welcome relief that I cling to daily and a paralyzing reality I can’t think about too long without tearing up. We inevitably make our way through the early mornings, the meltdowns, the messes…but ooooooh what I wouldn’t give to go back to when she was a squeaky little ball on my chest and I could simply hold her through it all.
And while the hard is only sometimes sprinkled in and sporadically smooshed between the joy & love & excitement that comes with this toddler stage, I’m willing myself to celebrate every second. Because today it’s challenges like nighttime potty training and eating anything other than fruit…tomorrow it’s heartbreak and driving and (gulp) college.
I can’t believe I’ve been a mama for THREE years. It’s changed me, expanded me, molded me into a completely different person. I’m asking bigger questions, living with more intention, clearer on my goals, and spending my days trying to make the world a better place for her.
Sloan will forever be my little miracle – the pregnancy that was called “impossible” after an endometriosis diagnosis and now a talking (literally always talking…wonder where she gets that from!?), dancing, puddle-jumping , blue-eyed little girl who’s even more proof of how precious life is after a recent pregnancy loss.
RELATED POST: How I Got Pregnant Despite My Endometriosis Diagnosis
While she will always be my baby, Lolo’s definitely not a baby anymore (which she reminds me of daily). Watching her grow, especially in this stage where every moment is larger than life, has made me appreciate the potential that every days holds, and not a single one goes by that I don’t say a prayer of thanks for her and everything she is.
Lolo, currently
How do you describe a little girl who makes you do a double take every day? She keeps us on our toes (and tests my patience) when *literally* asking to “see her options” before picking a movie or choosing a snack. Her hugs are accompanied by singing “Circle of Life” (yes…from “The Lion King”) every single time. When I say Sloan is special, I mean it in the best of ways. Obviously everyone thinks their kid is the greatest thing on earth, but holy smokes does Lolo’s heart and personality shine.
She is a mini-me through and through – her smile, her stubbornness, her chattiness – but she also has her daddy’s patience, love of movies, and delight for the outdoors. From rocking the big-girl bed to (almost totally!!!) ditching diapers and even putting dishes away after dinner, Sloan is blooming and becoming her own little person right in front of our eyes. It’s wild how many milestones we’ve overcome, how I’ve felt a shift in our role as parents, and how many “lasts” we’ve experienced in this year alone.
A little BTS from our last year
This past year has been blissfully simple…honestly, just how our family prefers it. Sloan is like us and finds joy in the little things, so we make sure to fill our free time with small but special adventures. Trips to our favorite nursery, grabbing milk at the local farm, park dates with friends, camping trips, backyard picnics, visiting the crabs at the grocery store – these are a few of Sloan’s favorite things and are all activities that feel as magical as Disneyland because of her excitement and enthusiasm.
Earlier this year, before Bob became a firefighter, he and Lolo spent most days together. Every time I checked in they were hiking in the woods or working out in the garage or wrestling, and I was admittedly jealous of the time they had and the relationship they developed. Now that Bob is gone a little more at the fire station, Sloan is in a “daddy phase” and wants him to do everything with her…and my heart simultaneously breaks and celebrates each time she asks for him to play a game or put her to bed.
I’m still Sloan’s cuddle buddy and sneak in my quality time in the few hours after work and during our precious weekends. She’s becoming more interested in “girly” things and I jump at the opportunity to do our makeup together, paint her nails, make a loaf of sourdough, or work in the garden. Lolo’s an observer (and a little sponge), so these days I’m always watching what I say and do around her, because while daddy’s the fun one, she’s definitely mommy’s shadow.
Her 5 current favorites
Sneaky, Snacky Squirrel – We’ve entered the age where board games are an option, and Sloan is OB-SESSED with this one. She gets to work on colors and matching and dexterity and patience and winning and losing…and we get to stop running around the house for fifteen minutes #bless. We play this at least ten times per day, and it’s 10000000% Sloan’s top toy of the moment.
This water bottle – I wanted to transition Sloan away from plastic sippy cups, and she loves this stainless steel “big girl water bottle”. It comes in so many cute colors and is so far destruction proof, making it perfect for our particular and playful girl.
A night light diffuser – Nights were becoming a challenge with Sloan, and her asking for one more snuggle was turning into a thirty-minute struggle this tired mama didn’t have time for. This diffuser and night light gives Sloan a little control over bedtime – she chooses the oils she wants diffused and the color she wants the nightlight (yes…it changes color!), and evenings have been much easier ever since.
Busy Toddler Homeschool Program – Sloan was too young to start preschool this year, so we decided to take on homeschooling and teach her ourselves. I love everything about this curriculum – it’s realistic, quick, uses household items, promotes life skills, and encourages play – and not a day goes by that Sloan doesn’t ask to “do school”, which is music to this mama’s ears.
This hiking child carrier – Barely a day goes by (even in this cold & wet PNW weather) that we don’t strap Sloan in this carrier and go on a walk. Both her and I are comfortable using it even as she tips the scale at a whopping 35 pounds. Some of our best memories have been made in this pack, and out of all the items on the list it’s the one I couldn’t live without.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Lolo Girl!
This morning you asked to watch “How to Train Your Dragon” for the fourth time this week, but it’s a welcomed break from “The Little Mermaid” marathon we were on. You held my fingers as you sat in my lap and sipped your smoothie until the cup was clean. Whenever you’re in your own little world, I watch your expressions, wonder what you’re thinking, feel the weight of your body against mine, and will myself to remember all of it.
You are my best friend, the love of my life, and one of my favorite people in the whole world. It’s easy for me to see your beauty and strengths, and choosing to find the best in you has taught me to do the same for myself. I’m your biggest cheerleader, and in nurturing and supporting you I’m learning to give myself the same grace and love and opportunities to thrive.
I prayed for you, my girl, and now I pinch myself that you are mine. I love who you are, I love who you’re becoming, and I love myself more than ever before – the woman motherhood has made me, the person you encourage me to be.
I love you with all my heart Sloan, Lolo, Sloany, Chickadee, and I can’t wait to celebrate you…today and always.
– Amanda/Mama
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